Depression and my year off of social media

To paraphrase Kristen Bell’s famous tagline from popular teen drama, Gossip Girl, “Where has he been? And who am I? That’s one secret I will tell you. You know you love me! DCFashion Fool!” A little tongue in cheek humor from me who’s been off social media almost for a while. It’s been over a year since I’ve be active, so I thought I’d share why I took a year off social media and how I’m dealing with depression.

My journey

The beginning of 2020 was filled with so much promise. I felt I was just hitting my groove in the social media game and I loved sharing what was happening around DC and being a positive voice for all the great things happening in the area.  Having recently returned back from an amazing getaway weekend sponsored by The Travel Mom where I had made some fantastic connections with some incredible creatives and I was feeling invigorated. I was on the road to working on improving me with weight loss goals and I was really looking forward to what the year had to bring. Then the s**t hit the fan! Covid 19 started devasting the world, the murder of George Floyd empowered the Black Live Matters movement, and the US political divide became more divisive and hostile. It really was too much for me. I just shut down. I actually fell into a serious state of depression.

It was too much. To me posting pics of having fun, showcasing the latest places to venture or what to wear just didn’t sit right to me when so many were suffering. Covid had me scared for my health and the nation’s unrest had me scared for my safety. I saw others posting being hopeful and others fighting the causes to promote a just society, but I didn’t know what to do. I shut down. Plus, I started to feel guilty.

The Guilt

Guilty that I had a good job that I began to appreciate more and more and was enjoying while people were losing theirs. I had the ability to work from home. Guilty that I could afford to eat and even have my groceries delivered. I was actually saving money by not going out as much and cooking at home. Guilty that I could jump on the latest stay at home trends: baking, bingeing all the must see tv while others didn’t have the same fortune. It was just easier to shut myself off and wallow in my depression. People reached out but I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t really put into words what I was feeling. So, I just kept to myself.

While I was torn up inside, I had to keep it together primarily for my mother. I wanted to make sure she was okay. Sequestered in her home by herself, I tried to be there for her as much as she needed. For her it was even a tougher year. All of her closest friends died. She was alone and was unable to see her grandkids. Making sure she was okay was much more important to me so taking a year off social media didn’t seem like such a big loss.

Depressed but how I managed

In taking a year off of social media one of the things I realized was how much time I spent obsessing over this medium. Trying to capture the perfect image, creating the right post and worrying over likes and followers had become such a major part of my life. Looking at my competition to see if they had fake followers or getting upset because I didn’t get a campaign just wasn’t healthy. When I stopped posting, these things didn’t bother me as much. Now that I’ve decided to start posting again, my goal is not to fall into that mindset again. But I’m human so who knows what will happen.

However, with social media out of the picture, I filled my time with other things. Cooking and baking became a favorite past time. Almost too much of a favorite because my weight gain was horrible. (More on that in an upcoming post.) I wasted time playing video games and became obsessed with some all sorts of topics on YouTube. Well, at least I have become a master at shining my own shoes (smile!) Over last summer, I tried a little gardening and now it’s a lot of home improvement. It been all about looking more on the positive, staying informed but not feeding into all the negative.

As I’ve slowly gotten myself over my funk, I’ve found that I have a desire to post again. But could I still be the DCFashion Fool, man about DC? Will anybody even care what I have to say? Who knows but I think I still have a voice.

My Tips on Dealing with Depression

Depression is a real thing. It’s no secret that Covid 19, the racial unrest, financial insecurity and all the things that have been going on over the past year have had a negative impact on many people’s mental health. In fact, in a study, completed by the Kaiser Family Foundation just looking at the effects of Covid 19, saw a huge spike in people reporting anxiety and/or depressive disorder. Knowing this and working through my issues helped me develop a few tips on working through my struggles.

1. Knowing that I’m not alone.

Over the past year even when I was with people, I have felt alone. But just like the report pointed out, many people are experiencing the same struggles that I am and some are even more severe. It’s nothing to be ashamed about. Like so many others it’s just a part of me and I’ve learned to accept it.

2. It’s been okay to ask for help. 

When the depression first hit me, I would just wallow alone by myself. I didn’t know what to do. For me, I found a friend to talk to. Someone to just listen to me without judgement. Fortunately for me I really just needed someone to listen to me. I asked and luckily for me, they empathized enough to be there for me. I recognize though this might not be the best way for others to address their needs, but the good news is there are other alternatives to pursue. Many employers offer Employee Assistance Programs and it can be a good avenue to seek assistance. Even if you don’t know where to turn, I suggest starting with U.S. Department of Health & Human Services. Here the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration has excellent resources to direct you where to turn. In addition, they offer a hotline that is anonymous and open 24/7. The direct number is 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

3. I’m taking it one day at a time 

It sounds so basic but really, I don’t think it’s possible to feel better overnight. I think that’s why I needed to take a year off of social media. It was a way to help me feel better about myself. I can’t say that I’m back to my old self but I feel much better than I have over the past year. Sure, I still have some bad days but the good days are outweighing those bad.

4. Focusing more on the positive 

At the height of my depression, I honed in on everything that I felt was bad with the world. Spiralling into everything negative that was happening around me. In feeding that obsession, I was getting more and more anxious and depressed. While I believe it is important to be informed and understand what’s going on in the world, I can’t let it drive me. I need to find things that bring me joy. I’m trying to be more of the “glass half full” kind of guy.

Conclusion

Where am I today? I am just me. I wanted to share hoping that if you’ve read this far you might know what’s been going with me over the past year. Yes, I took a year off of social media and hopefully I’m better for it. I also hope that if anyone is going through anything like I did that I can be there for you. I love you all and thanks for listening.